Reciprocal self-disclosure makes children feel more loved by their parents in the moment: A proof-of-concept experiment.

Feeling loved by one's parents is critical for children's health and well-being. How can such feelings be fostered? A vital feature of loving interactions is reciprocal self-disclosure, where individuals disclose intimate information about themselves. In a proof-of-concept experiment, we examined whether encouraging reciprocal self-disclosure in parent-child dyads would make children feel more loved during the conversation. Participants were 218 children (ages 8-13, 50% girls, 94% Dutch) and one of their parents (ages 28-56, 62% women, 90% Dutch). Parent-child dyads received a list of 14 questions and took turns asking them each other for 9 min. Dyads were assigned randomly to engage in self-disclosure (questions invoking escalated intimacy) or small talk (questions invoking minimal intimacy). Before and after, children reported how loved they felt by their parent during the conversation. Self-disclosure made children feel more loved during the conversation than did small talk. Compared to small talk, self-disclosure did not instigate conversations that were lengthier or more positive; rather, it instigated conversations that were more emotionally charged (reflecting anger, anxiety, and sadness), social (discussing family and friends), reflective (creating insight), and meaningful (addressing deeply personal topics, including the passing of loved ones). The dyad's gender composition did not significantly moderate these effects. Our research suggests that reciprocal self-disclosure can make children feel more loved in the moment, uncovers linguistic signatures of reciprocal self-disclosure, and offers developmental scientists a tool to examine causal effects of reciprocal self-disclosure in parent-child dyads. Future work should examine long-term effects in everyday parent-child interactions. RESEARCH HIGHLIGHTS: How can parents make children feel more loved by them in the moment? We theorize that these feelings can be cultivated through reciprocal self-disclosure. In a proof-of-concept experiment, we examined effects of reciprocal self-disclosure versus small talk in 218 parent-child dyads, with children aged 8-13. Self-disclosure (vs. small talk) made children feel more loved during the conversation. Linguistically, self-disclosure instigated conversations that were more emotionally charged, social, reflective, and meaningful. This research provides an experimental method to study self-disclosure in parent-child dyads and suggests that self-disclosure can make children feel more loved in the moment.

Self-perceptions as mechanisms of achievement inequality: evidence across 70 countries.

Children from lower socioeconomic status (SES) backgrounds tend to have more negative self-perceptions. More negative self-perceptions are often related to lower academic achievement. Linking these findings, we asked: Do children's self-perceptions help explain socioeconomic disparities in academic achievement around the world? We addressed this question using data from the 2018 Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA) survey, including n = 520,729 records of 15-year-old students from 70 countries. We studied five self-perceptions (self-perceived competency, self-efficacy, growth mindset, sense of belonging, and fear of failure) and assessed academic achievement in terms of reading achievement. As predicted, across countries, children's self-perceptions jointly and separately partially mediated the association between socioeconomic status and reading achievement, explaining additional 11% (ΔR2 = 0.105) of the variance in reading achievement. The positive mediation effect of self-perceived competency was more pronounced in countries with higher social mobility, indicating the importance of environments that "afford" the use of beneficial self-perceptions. While the results tentatively suggest self-perceptions, in general, to be an important lever to address inequality, interventions targeting self-perceived competency might be particularly effective in counteracting educational inequalities in countries with higher social mobility.

"You did incredibly well!": teachers' inflated praise can make children from low-SES backgrounds seem less smart (but more hardworking).

Can teachers' inflated praise make children from low socioeconomic status (SES) backgrounds seem less smart? We conducted two preregistered experiments to address this question. We used hypothetical scenarios to ensure experimental control. An experiment with primary school teachers (N = 106, ages 21-63) showed that when a child from a low-SES (vs. high-SES) background succeeded in school, teachers attributed this success more to hard work and delivered more inflated praise (e.g., "You did incredibly well!") but less modest praise (e.g., "You did well!"). An experiment with primary school children (N = 63, ages 10-13) showed that when children learned that another child received inflated praise (while an equally performing classmate received modest praise or no praise), they perceived this child as less smart but more hardworking. These studies provide converging evidence that teachers' inflated praise, although well-intentioned, can make children from low-SES backgrounds seem less smart, thereby reinforcing negative stereotypes about these children's academic abilities.

Unequal selves in the classroom: Nature, origins, and consequences of socioeconomic disparities in children's self-views.

Children from low socioeconomic status (SES) backgrounds often have more negative self-views than their peers. How are these self-views shaped by teacher-student interactions in the classroom, and what are the consequences of these self-views for achievement inequality? We present a developmental framework addressing these questions by bridging insights from the psychological, educational, and sociological literatures. We show that children from low-SES backgrounds perceive themselves as less intelligent, less able to grow their intelligence, less deserving, and less worthy, independent of their actual abilities and achievements. We demonstrate how negative intellectual stereotypes-expressed through daily interactions with teachers in classrooms, such as teachers' expectations, feedback, and attention-undercut the self-views of children from low-SES backgrounds. We also show how this process can be exacerbated by institutional and cultural values reflecting a belief in meritocracy (e.g., schools that encourage competition, emphasize raw ability, and attribute achievement inequality to intrinsic factors), which are common in countries with high income inequality and rigid between-school tracking. The ensuing more negative self-views introduce psychological barriers that undermine the academic achievement of children from low-SES backgrounds, thereby reinforcing achievement inequality. This represents an enormous loss of potential and perpetuates harm into adulthood. Socioeconomic disparities in self-views can emerge early in life and widen with age, underlining the need for developmental research and timely intervention. We discuss implications for studying the nature, origins, and consequences of socioeconomic disparities in self-views, and for designing interventions to reduce achievement inequality. (PsycInfo Database Record (c) 2023 APA, all rights reserved).

Parental socialization of guilt and shame in early childhood.

Self-conscious emotions emerge early in human development and they help children navigate social relationships. Little is known about the socialization of self-conscious emotions in early childhood. We theorized that parental mental state language use and warmth would be important for young children's self-conscious emotions and their consequent prosocial behaviors. Ninety-eight children residing in the Netherlands (52% girls) aged 2-5 (M = 48.66 months, SD = 13.50 months) visited the research lab with one parent. First, we observed parental mental state language and warmth. Afterward, children were led to believe that they caused a mishap (i.e., accidentally breaking the experimenter's favorite toy) to evoke their guilt and shame, which we micro-coded. In subsequent tasks, we observed children's helping behaviors toward the experimenter. We found that the combination of frequent parental mental state language and high warmth was associated with children's quicker helping to the previously harmed experimenter across toddlerhood and early childhood. More guilt was related to more helping whereas more shame-like avoidance was related to less helping. Our findings based on the sample of Dutch parents and children suggest that, parental frequent mental state talk, in combination with high warmth, may promote children's ability to repair social relationships and behave prosocially after mishaps.

"I'm not here to push you:" raising adolescents' treatment engagement via autonomy support.

More than 45% of adolescents with aggressive behavior problems drop out of treatment prematurely. Building on insights from self-determination theory, we examined in three studies whether clinicians can raise adolescents' treatment engagement by supporting their autonomy. In an interview study (Study 1), clinicians (N = 16; 43.8% female; ages 30-57) spontaneously described 12 times more autonomy-supportive than controlling strategies to engage adolescents. In a preregistered experiment (Study 2), clinicians (N = 68; 88.2% female; ages 23-65) were confronted with videos of adolescents displaying resistance. We manipulated the DSM diagnosis of adolescents to indicate either aggressive behavior problems or other problems. We found that, regardless of diagnosis, clinicians used both autonomy-supportive strategies (57.7% of responses) and controlling strategies (39.3%), suggesting that applying autonomy support can be challenging with any adolescent displaying resistance. In an experimental study (Study 3), adolescents (N = 252; 50.0% female; ages 12-17) reported higher therapeutic alliance (d = 0.95, 95% CI [0.80, 1.10]) and treatment engagement (d = 0.77, 95% CI [0.63, 0.91]) after listening to audio-recorded autonomy-supportive versus controlling responses from clinicians, regardless of whether these adolescents had aggressive behavior problems. Overall, this research suggests that clinicians can raise adolescents' treatment engagement through autonomy support.

Autistic traits and self-conscious emotions in early childhood.

Self-conscious emotions arise from evaluating the self through the eyes of others. Given that children with autistic traits may experience difficulties with understanding others' minds, they might show less attuned self-conscious emotions. Two-to-five-year-old children's (N = 98, Mage  = 48.54 months, 50% girls, 92% White) self-conscious emotions (guilt, embarrassment, and shame-like avoidance) were observed after children "broke" the experimenter's favorite toy. Data were collected from March 2018 till June 2019. Children with more autistic traits showed less theory of mind (ToM), and more shame-like avoidance, but associations were not mediated by ToM. This provides initial evidence that children with more autistic traits may show disturbances in some but not all self-conscious emotions, which could hinder their social functioning.

Awe Sparks Prosociality in Children.

Rooted in the novel and the mysterious, awe is a common experience in childhood, but research is almost silent with respect to the import of this emotion for children. Awe makes individuals feel small, thereby shifting their attention to the social world. Here, we studied the effects of art-elicited awe on children's prosocial behavior toward an out-group and its unique physiological correlates. In two preregistered studies (Study 1: N = 159, Study 2: N = 353), children between 8 and 13 years old viewed movie clips that elicited awe, joy, or a neutral (control) response. Children who watched the awe-eliciting clip were more likely to spend their time on an effortful task (Study 1) and to donate their experimental earnings (Studies 1 and 2), all toward benefiting refugees. They also exhibited increased respiratory sinus arrhythmia, an index of parasympathetic nervous system activation associated with social engagement. We discuss implications for fostering prosociality by reimagining children's environments to inspire awe at a critical age.

Early physiological indicators of narcissism and self-esteem in children.

A common belief is that narcissism is a manifestation of high self-esteem. Here, we argue that self-esteem and narcissism are fundamentally distinct and have unique early physiological indicators. We hypothesized that children predisposed to narcissism would show elevated, whereas children predisposed to high self-esteem would show lowered, physiological arousal in social-evaluative contexts. We tested this in a prospective study including 113 children, who were first assessed at age 4.5, a critical age when children begin evaluating themselves through others' eyes. At age 4.5, children sang a song in front of an audience while being videotaped. Children's physiological arousal (skin conductance, heart rate, and heart rate variability) was assessed while children anticipated, performed, and recovered from the singing task. At age 7.5, children's narcissism and self-esteem levels were assessed. Consistent with our predictions, children predisposed to higher narcissism levels showed elevated skin conductance levels during anticipation. Their skin conductance levels further rose during performance (but less so than for other children) and failed to return to baseline during recovery. By contrast, children predisposed to higher self-esteem levels showed lowered skin conductance levels throughout the procedure. The effects emerged for skin conductance but not heart rate or heart rate variability, suggesting that arousal was sympathetically driven. Effects were larger and more robust for self-esteem than for narcissism. Together, these findings uncover distinct physiological indicators of narcissism and self-esteem: Narcissism is predicted by indicators reflecting early social-evaluative concerns, whereas self-esteem is predicted by indicators reflecting an early sense of comfort in social-evaluative contexts.

Parental praise and children's exploration: a virtual reality experiment.

When children practice a new skill and fail, it is critical for them to explore new strategies to succeed. How can parents encourage children's exploration? Bridging insights from developmental psychology and the neuroscience of motor control, we examined the effects of parental praise on children's motor exploration. We theorize that modest praise can spark exploration. Unlike inflated praise, modest praise acknowledges children's performance, without setting a high standard for future performance. This may be reassuring to children with lower levels of self-esteem, who often doubt their ability. We conducted a novel virtual-reality experiment. Children (N = 202, ages 8-12) reported self-esteem and performed a virtual-reality 3D trajectory-matching task, with success/failure feedback after each trial. Children received modest praise ("You did well!"), inflated praise ("You did incredibly well!"), or no praise from their parent. We measured motor exploration as children's tendency to vary their movements following failure. Relative to no praise, modest praise-unlike inflated praise-encouraged exploration in children with lower levels of self-esteem. By contrast, modest praise discouraged exploration in children with higher levels of self-esteem. Effects were small yet robust. This experiment demonstrates that modest praise can spark exploration in children with lower levels of self-esteem.

How to raise children's self-esteem? Comment on Orth and Robins (2022).

Since the 1960s, self-esteem has become a cornerstone of Western child-rearing. After reviewing a large body of rigorous longitudinal research, Orth and Robins (2022) conclude that self-esteem brings modest but significant benefits across all ages. However, the authors did not intend to suggest strategies for raising children's self-esteem. The aim of my commentary is to identify such strategies. Without guidance on how to raise children's self-esteem safely and sustainably, well-intentioned strategies, such as inflated praise, may inadvertently undermine self-esteem or even breed narcissism. Instead, interventions should be based on a theoretically informed and empirically supported understanding of the determinants of self-esteem. By targeting these determinants, interventions may be able to raise children's self-esteem safely (i.e., without breeding narcissism) and sustainably (i.e., leading to lasting improvements in self-esteem and its presumed outcomes). Evaluating these interventions through randomized controlled trials will help build a theory of when and why self-esteem interventions work. Ultimately, this work will provide nuanced and dependable guidance to parents, teachers, and professionals on how to raise children's self-esteem. (PsycInfo Database Record (c) 2022 APA, all rights reserved).

Does caregivers' use of praise reduce children's externalizing behavior? A longitudinal observational test in the context of a parenting program.

Caregivers are often encouraged to praise children to reduce externalizing behavior. Although several theoretical perspectives suggest that praise works (e.g., praise reinforces positive behavior), others suggest it may not (e.g., children dismiss praise or experience it as controlling). This longitudinal-observational study examined whether (a) caregivers' praise and children's externalizing behavior were related; (b) an evidence-based parenting program increased caregivers' praise; (c) and increasing praise reduced children's externalizing behavior. Participants (387 caregiver-child dyads) were randomly assigned to a 14-session parenting program (aiming to improve parenting behavior, partly via praise) or a control group. Children (aged 4-8 years, 45% girls) scored at or above the 75th percentile on externalizing behavior problems. Caregivers (91% Caucasian, 85% born in the Netherlands, 50.5% highly educated) were mostly mothers (91%). At baseline, postintervention, and follow-up, we assessed caregivers' labeled and unlabeled praise via in-home observations, and children's externalizing behavior via caregiver-reports and observations. At baseline, caregivers' unlabeled praise was related to more (rather than less) externalizing behavior. The parenting program successfully increased praise and reduced caregiver-reported (but not observed) externalizing behavior; importantly, however, praise did not mediate the program's effect on caregiver-reported externalizing behavior. Although the program did not directly reduce observed externalizing behavior, it did so indirectly via labeled praise. Our results suggest that, although praise and externalizing child behavior are related, praise may not be a key mechanism underlying the effects of the parenting program. If praise has beneficial effects on children's externalizing behavior, these effects are probably limited to labeled praise. (PsycInfo Database Record (c) 2022 APA, all rights reserved).

Affective contingencies of narcissism.

Several theories propose that narcissism is rooted in affective contingencies. Given narcissists' focus on power, these contingencies should be strong in the power domain but not in the affiliation domain. We systematically investigated narcissists' contingencies and explored whether these contingencies might link narcissism to social behavior. In a multimethod longitudinal study, we assessed unidimensional narcissism levels as well as two main narcissistic strategies: Admiration and rivalry. We measured 209 participants' affective contingencies (i.e., affective responses to satisfying and frustrating experiences of power and affiliation) via self-reports (n = 207) and facial electromyography (fEMG, n = 201). In a 1-year follow-up, we observed participants' power- and affiliation-related behaviors in the laboratory (valid n = 123). Results indicated that narcissism was linked to increased affective reactivity to power, and this pattern was present for both admiration and rivalry. Narcissism was unrelated to affective reactivity to affiliation, with an important exception: Individuals with higher levels of narcissistic rivalry exhibited decreased reactivity toward satisfactions and increased reactivity toward frustrations of affiliation. Results were more robust for self-reported than for fEMG-indexed reactivity. Although overall narcissism and narcissistic admiration were related to power-related behaviors 1 year later, affective contingencies did not generally account for these links. These findings inform why narcissists have a relatively strong power motive and why some narcissists high in rivalry have a relatively weak affiliation motive. More broadly, these findings provide insight into the affective contingencies underlying personality traits and call for research on the contexts in which these contingencies guide behavior. (PsycInfo Database Record (c) 2022 APA, all rights reserved).

Proudly moving forward and feeling connected: Adolescents' daily temporal comparisons relate to a desire for growth and sense of relatedness.

Adolescents often compare themselves favorably to others. Although such downward social comparisons make adolescents feel proud, they entail the risk of focusing adolescents on outperforming others rather than on improving themselves. This daily diary study (N = 389 adolescents, ages 11-15) tested the hypothesis that downward temporal comparisons-comparing one's present self favorably to one's past self, rather than to others-may elicit pride while encouraging adolescents to strive for self-improvement rather than superiority. Such a desire for self-improvement may, in turn, cultivate a sense of relatedness. Results show that daily downward and upward comparisons co-occurred with pride and shame, respectively, regardless of whether those comparisons were social or temporal. Importantly, daily downward temporal comparisons (unlike daily downward social comparisons) co-occurred with a desire for self-improvement over superiority as well as with a sense of relatedness. This desire for self-improvement over superiority partially mediated the association between downward temporal comparison and a sense of relatedness. Together, these findings underline the role of social and temporal comparisons in self-conscious emotions and goal pursuit and suggest that temporal comparisons-unlike social comparisons-may help adolescents strive for personal growth and build satisfying relationships. (PsycInfo Database Record (c) 2022 APA, all rights reserved).

Narcissism and Leadership in Children.

Some leaders display high levels of narcissism. Does the link between narcissism levels and leadership exist in childhood? We conducted, to our knowledge, the first study of the relationship between narcissism levels and various aspects of leadership in children (N = 332, ages 7-14 years). We assessed narcissism levels using the Childhood Narcissism Scale and assessed leadership emergence in classrooms using peer nominations. Children then performed a group task in which one child was randomly assigned as leader. We assessed perceived and actual leadership functioning. Children with higher narcissism levels more often emerged as leaders in classrooms. When given a leadership role in the task, children with higher narcissism levels perceived themselves as better leaders, but their actual leadership functioning did not differ significantly from that of other leaders. Specification-curve analyses corroborated these findings. Thus, children with relatively high narcissism levels tend to emerge as leaders, even though they may not excel as leaders.

Climbing up or falling down: Narcissism predicts physiological sensitivity to social status in children and their parents.

Children's narcissism may be rooted in sensitivity to social status (i.e., prominence, respect, and influence in a social group), and this sensitivity might be shared with parents. Testing this idea, a randomized experiment examined how children with high narcissism levels and their parents respond to gains and losses of social status. On a simulated social media platform, children (N = 123, ages 8-13) competed with fictitious peers for status and were randomly assigned to gain or lose status. Unbeknownst to children, parents viewed the course of the task. Children's and parents' affective reactions during the task were measured with facial electromyography, which detects spontaneous facial muscle activity linked to positive affect (i.e., zygomaticus major activity, involved in smiling) and negative affect (i.e., corrugator supercilii activity, involved in frowning). Children with higher narcissism levels showed steeper increases in negative affect during status loss and steeper increases in both positive and negative affect during status gain. Their parents mirrored the steeper increase in positive affect during their child's status gain, but they did not mirror the increase in negative affect. These results suggest that children with high narcissism levels and their parents show intensified affective-motivational responses to children's status-relevant experiences. These responses may be transmitted from one generation to the other (e.g., genetically or through parent-child socialization).

Better than my past self: Temporal comparison raises children's pride without triggering superiority goals.

Western societies offer children many opportunities for downward social comparisons (i.e., comparing oneself favorably to others). Such comparisons make children feel proud of themselves but could inadvertently trigger a desire to be superior to others. How can children be made to feel proud without triggering a desire for superiority? We hypothesized that downward temporal comparisons (i.e., comparing one's current self favorably to one's past self) can make children feel proud and give them a sense of insight and progress, without triggering a desire for superiority. We randomly assigned 583 children (Mage = 11.65, SD = 1.92) to engage in social comparisons (downward or upward), temporal comparisons (downward or upward), or no comparison. As hypothesized, downward social and temporal comparisons both made children feel proud, but only temporal comparisons did so without triggering superiority goals. Relative to social comparisons, temporal comparisons gave children a sense of progress and insight. These comparison effects were similar across middle-to-late childhood (ages 8-10), early adolescence (ages 11-13), and middle adolescence (ages 14-16). Collectively, our findings suggest that social comparisons contribute a competitive interpersonal orientation marked by a desire for superiority. Temporal comparisons, in contrast, shift children's goals away from being better than others toward being better than their own past selves. (PsycInfo Database Record (c) 2020 APA, all rights reserved).

Effort Self-Talk Benefits the Mathematics Performance of Children With Negative Competence Beliefs.

Children with negative competence beliefs often achieve below their potential in school. This randomized field experiment tested whether engaging in positive self-talk may benefit these children's mathematics performance. Participants (N = 212, Grades 4-6, Mage  = 10.6) worked on the first half of a standardized mathematics test, engaged in effort self-talk ("I will do my very best!"), ability self-talk ("I am very good at this!"), or no self-talk, and worked on the second half of the test. Compared to both the conditions, effort self-talk benefited the performance of children holding negative competence beliefs: It severed the association between negative competence beliefs and poor performance. By internally asserting that they will deliver effort, children with negative competence beliefs can optimize their achievement in school.

The "Why" and "How" of Narcissism: A Process Model of Narcissistic Status Pursuit.

We propose a self-regulation model of grandiose narcissism. This model illustrates an interconnected set of processes through which narcissists (i.e., individuals with relatively high levels of grandiose narcissism) pursue social status in their moment-by-moment transactions with their environments. The model shows that narcissists select situations that afford status. Narcissists vigilantly attend to cues related to the status they and others have in these situations and, on the basis of these perceived cues, appraise whether they can elevate their status or reduce the status of others. Narcissists engage in self-promotion (admiration pathway) or other-derogation (rivalry pathway) in accordance with these appraisals. Each pathway has unique consequences for how narcissists are perceived by others, thus shaping their social status over time. The model demonstrates how narcissism manifests itself as a stable and consistent cluster of behaviors in pursuit of social status and how it develops and maintains itself over time. More broadly, the model might offer useful insights for future process models of other personality traits.